


50 Shades of Rey

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 50 Shades of Grey Parody, Enjoy!, F/M, Meme, One Shot, and i dont even remember which one, anyway, i dont watch star wars, i have seen one (1) star wars movie in my life, i literally wrote this with no knowledge of the franchise, it's just a meme dont come for me, or do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21897586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A Kylo Ren/Rey fic parody of 50 Shades. It's just a joke though, don't come for me.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Anonymous





	50 Shades of Rey

Rey looked up, nervously peeking up from long, dark lashes. Her cheeks were flushed, and her heart seemed to be racing at lightspeed. Her gaze met his, and her breath caught. 

“Are you g-gonna make...love...to me?” She asked, silently kicking herself for stuttering. His brow narrowed, his eyes growing darker--dangerous, she knew, but someone it drew her in more. 

“I don’t make love.” His voice was deep, velvety. Sexy. “I fuck. With the Force.” 

She gasped, her eyes going wide. He wasn’t going to be gentle with her. This was not a game. This was real. But was she ready? 

She swallowed. “O-okay.” 

“Let me show you my playroom.”

_ His what?  _ She thought, heart beating faster. She didn’t have time to think as he grabbed her hand and started leading her down the corridor of the spaceship. Her pulse was quickening, her breath getting more ragged as she tried not to focus on the warmth of his hand on hers. She had to calm her inner Jedi and try to keep a level head. Though she was far past that point. 

They arrived at a pod door. He dropped her hand, and looked at her, his gaze even more lustful if that was even possible. 

“Here we are,” he said, his voice low. “Welcome to my world.” He opened the door, and her breath caught. She really had to pee, but pushed the urge down. But she wouldn’t push down her urge to...as he said... _ fuck.  _

In front of her eyes was a looming room illuminated by the glow of planets and galaxies seeping in from the space-glass pod windows. And on the walls...a host of things she’d never even seen before. His hand was outstretched, beckoning her to explore, the room spanning before her like an undiscovered planetary territory. A planitory. 

Carbonite chains. Glowing restraints hanging from the ceiling. Some sort of...chair...thing. Masks that looked modeled on Storm Troopers.  _ Maybe he can only do it in that?  _

She slowly advanced towards one of the dresser-looking metal structures, complete with lockpads. He came over and opened it for her. She opened a drawer and was met with strange thin and circular objects, but she couldn’t identify them. She turned to look at Kylo. 

“What are those?” Her voice seemed more solid now. 

“Paddlewans. I use them for spanking.” 

“O-oh.”  _ Spanking?  _ Her grandaddy Palpatine wouldn’t even do that to her when she was a kid.  _ Shit.  _ He really wasn’t joking. 

She saw something hanging from the wall, and couldn’t suppress her curiosity. She reached out and brushed it with her finger. 

Suddenly, a red light glowed from the object, and from each side shot out a long phallic shaft, making it double-sided. She jumped back slightly, startled at the reaction. 

“W-what is that?” She managed. 

“That is my double-sided dildo. I use it for maximum pleasure.”    


It looked horrifying. She couldn’t understand how anyone would derive pleasure from  _ that _ . She peeked a glance at him; he was looking right at her with that dark stare of his, a stare that seemed to say  _ You’d be surprised.  _ She shivered involuntarily. 

She passed another row of...dildos; smaller and less daunting than the first creation. 

“And these? Are these for...pleasure, too?” 

He shook his head. “No. Those are for when I go han solo.” 

“Ah.” 

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue looking around. Despite all this...new information, to her surprise she wasn’t the slightest bit deterred. She wanted that darth maul dick. She knew she had to sound sure about this, so she forced her voice to stay strong. 

“Okay. I’m ready to do this.” 

He looked at her, his gaze steady and calculating, but she matched him for it. He was trying to determine the truth of her statement. But she was not backing down. Like the Empire, she was going to strike back. 

Finally, he nodded. 

In a whirlwind faster than R2D2 on crack he whirled her off her feet and onto the aircraft-shaped bed. She was momentarily winded, but she had no hope of regaining her breath as he whipped off his shirt. He was muscular, and his pants were low. His happy trail was so thick it might have been a wookie. 

Taking a deep breath, meeting his gaze, she whispered, “Let’s let the past die.” 


End file.
